Casual Observations

Just some thoughts running through my head:

1. Sunshine makes everything better. This kind of goes hand in hand with a tan makes everyone look 10 lbs. lighter.

2. I love a good storm. In the spring and summer a thunderstorm is exciting. Some try to jack up the excitement level during tornado warnings by looking out the window watching the clouds swirl while looking for the funnel.
Last night we had a snow storm with howling winds. I curled up with a Greg Isles book and enjoyed the coziness.

3. I love the soundtrack to "Slumdog Millionaire." While I haven't seen the movie yet, I watched the Academy Awards, saw a dance expo on GMA, and have ordered the soundtrack. Am toying with the idea of ordering some tunic tops and caftans so I can float about in my clothes. I already own the hookah so am on my way to adopting a new heritage.

4. If I were to live by the saying, "What would you do if you could not fail?" I would be a performer. I would at least be a doo wop girl, work my way to diva status, and then star in some movies. Since failure isn't an option the fact that I have a lousy singing voice doesn't matter.
(A huge problem with being a famous performer would be having every move documented and having people invading my privacy. I just don't like people enough to have them in my space. Rather than carrying a little rat dog in my purse I'd have to take a bull mastiff with me everywhere.)
Being a pianist, author, figure skater, comedian,or nail polish namer would also be "no fail" jobs for me.

5. I've had four dreams about meeting Barack Obama. Hopefully prophetic dreams! How fantastic it would be to have dinner with the Obama family in a relaxed atmosphere, chit chatting about what not.

Ah, just zig zagging thoughts this afternoon.

Technology Addiction

At one time in my life I shunned computer use. I had no need so why use a technology I found difficult to understand. Then came along Windows 95, and my entry into technology addiction began. Why, one can talk to people across the seas! Want to buy a shirt online at 11:00 pm -- here's my credit card number. I surf the web, keep a blog, store photos, file documents, bookmark favorite sites, and email my children via the computer. Am I addicted to my laptop -- oh, yes!

Computers allow for news inundation, instantaneous communication, and split second gossip dissemination. We don't have time to have information filtered when it is before us from a myriad of medias. Information isn't even substantiated before it is let loose to the masses so misinformation becomes fact when it shouldn't. There have been a few times I've had to do without my computer and those are the times I understand how much time this thing sucks out of my life. Maybe I need to designate one day/week a non-computer day.

Cell phone usage came later than computer usage for me. My first cell phone was bulky, had about 30 minutes of call time/month and was only to be used for emergencies. Service was dicey. I do not believe it had voicemail let alone caller id. Now my cellphone has more services than I know how to use, has caller id, various ring tones, takes and stores pictures, plays music, has a calculator, a clock, a video camera, and text messaging. It is always with me and that is the rub.

I first started carrying a cell phone when away from my children (they were of an age where they could be left alone safely and were self sufficient enough). I kept it on so if there was an emergency they could contact me. I will never forget when I first realized that cell phones were intrusive. I was in a dressing room at Dayton's when my cell phone rang. My son, who was well able to make a sandwich, use the microwave, and who had been raised to be independent called to ask what was for lunch. After explaining my location and that lunch was whatever he made, I turned off the phone realizing I did not always want to be found. I did not always want to be connected.

That feeling has not faded away. Was it really so bad not to have 24/7 access to everyone in our lives? What real emergencies do we have in our lives? I understand the significance of having a cell phone when driving at midnight on a lonely country highway, that a 16 year old who has just earned a diver's license should carry one, and that cell phones at Columbine helped the police but that is not the reason people really have cell phones. I have friends whose children call them 9 times a day about the mundane: what's for supper, have you washed my soccer jersey, why aren't you home yet? And my friends get exasperated at those calls! When it is suggested that the phone be turned off, the parents are astonished at the thought of being disconnected from their children.

I am a person who values my alone time. I like quiet, I enjoy solitude, and I don't particularly like talking on the phone for more than 15 minutes. I ignore my land line more than answer it, and I believe one of the greatest inventions of the last 100 years is caller id. That way I can choose when to answer my cell phone. Distinctive ring tones have aided me if I can't see the caller id (aging eyes), so I can identify the caller by the ring tone. Voice mail allows the caller to leave a message, or not, and I can contact that person in my own due time. I always answer my children's calls. Everyone else depends on my mood.

My children are enveloped in technology, cell phones in particular. My daughter rarely answers her phone (takes after her mother) but text messages often and receives texts even more often. She even has one of those phones that has a regular little typewriter keypad. I drew the line the last time I was with her and she started to text while driving -- with me in the passenger seat. I don't think so! Her brother should just have the thing surgically implanted in his hand. Until recently it was dicey as to what mood a call would find him since he never shuts the thing off. It seems I always called when he was sleeping (whether it was 10 a.m. or 3 p.m) and he was pretty ugly upon my awakening him. When I suggested he shut off his phone during naps he informed me that he uses his phone for an alarm clock......(the tone of voice used was one we parents know only too well --- "like how can you be so stupid as to not know that!")

I drew the line when we vacationed in Palm Springs last March. I asked both kids to turn off their cell phones during the day when we were all together because I wanted to enjoy them without interruption. (I do find it rude that people cut off the person sitting with them at dinner or during a face to face conversation to answer their cell phone. I apologize to store clerks if I end up answering a call when checking out. Do we really need to share/listen to other's conversations?) They agreed, and I can't help but think it was a moment of enlightenment for them -- they could live without the phone.

What if we end up like the characters in science fiction stories? "Star Trek" had the computer able to identify the location of everyone on the ship and crew members were always accessible by communicators. In later stories the Federation crews had communication chips implanted in their brains. No thanks. GPS is already evolving to the point that our locations can be the business of others and means there is little chance of escaping.

Yesterday I purposefully left my cell phone in the car while I ran errands. That felt good. I want to do that more often. Better yet, I should turn it and the computer off and have a little less technology in my life.

Book Stores

Books have always been important in my life, and I tried to pass on the love of reading to my children. One way of doing that was when we made a point of stopping at bookstores whenever we vacationed with the kids. Whether it was a university bookstore (a move to acquaint Ann and Patrick with colleges and more deeply impress upon them the wonders of higher learning), mall bookstore, or mainstreet bookstore we made a point to visit it on vacation.

We found the Crow's Nest on the wharf in San Diego in the early 1990's and thought it delightfully revolutionary that it also contained a coffee shop. Hark, what an idea -- books to browse while sipping coffee! Fortunately this trend moved to the Midwest, a Barnes & Noble settled in Appleton, and I had a new favorite place. When in Toronto we visited Chapters, a two story book store; in Madison Canterbury Tales and Borders demand a visit (both with coffee offerings).

Ah, I love going to such bookstores, browsing books, sipping coffee, people watching.
I have rarely met a bookstore I don't enjoy and when a bookstore also houses a coffee shop a near perfect setting happens.

This Saturday we spent a few hours at Barnes & Noble; Dan skimming a computer programming book while I paged through a magazine and then began reading "The Reader." It is my understanding that bookstores such as B&N encourage people to spend time reading in the store because the longer customers are in the store, the more they are tempted to buy. I read half of the book and may return this week to finish it. A friend once asked if I felt guilty about reading a book there without intending to purchase it. Because I spend a lot of money at Barnes & Noble (the most popular family gift is a B&N gift card) I do not feel guilt.

On Saturday I left the store with the Barack Obama Vanity Fair.

Few Weeks Into the Presidency

Just a few observations about recent political news:

Loved, loved, loved that President Obama said, "I screwed up." While it would be easy for us followers to make excuses, to blame Daschle for it all, question who the heck vetted these people, I am a firm believer that the person at the top is the one in charge and the one responsible. How refreshing, after eight years of a President who lied, ignored, overreacted, and bumbled yet never admitted mistakes.

I admit to not understanding the stimulus bill. Can someone explain to me how resodding the Mall, helping out Hollywood, and funding education on sexually transmitted diseases stimulate a desperate economy? The plea to quickly advance this bill because of the horrific state of the country doesn't move me. The first stimulus package did little to help and was injected without being properly thought through. I am happy to have a bill closely scrutinized by both parties and the public for a change. Why not pass a bill for only its initial purpose without loading it up with "wants" not "needs."

Kudos for the House and Senate for passing an expansion of the government children's health care which was vetoed by President Bush. The bill will be signed by President Obama later today. When Bush denied this program I wrote him a letter questioning his leadership. Happy to see the program finally gets the go ahead.

Nice to see that the White House has some muscle to flex with companies bailed out by federal money (your and my money). While this should have been clearly established as part of any bailout in the first stimulus bill and may even just be window dressing, I like the statement being made for all of us who will never see such salaries. Since the President has blasted executives Wells Fargo cancelled a Las Vegas retreat and Bank of America is selling corporate jets. Seems a no brainer that if an executive has not successfully led his company, he should not receive huge salaries let alone bonuses. Business won't attract quality leadership if not well compensated? If quality leadership got us to this point, gee, give me some not so quality leaders. Where else are these people going to work these days? Drive a company into the dust and now the execs can be rewarded accordingly. What ever happened to doing a job for the fulfillment of the work and belief in what work is done rather than only for the compensation involved? Yes, I realize that sounds Pollyanna-ish, but remember that I have taught. Say no more about working without adequate compensation but for the love of the job.

My last comment has to do with the American media fascination with the Obama's family spending on less glamorous clothing and furniture. Because the Obamas are not routinely dressing in Paris designs or purchasing custom made furniture, the media is fawning over the "inexpensive" purchases they have made. Let me assure the media that those of us in middle America find J.Crew and Pottery Barn expensive. Target, Shopko, and Walmart offer reasonably priced items to folks in the middle class.

How to Manage a Rhinovirus

Gather Kleenex. Cough. Drink quarts of orange juice. Sneeze. Think about cutting off your head. Blow nose. Dose with Dayquil. Cough. Take a nap. Sneeze. Drink peppermint tea. Blow nose. Heat can of chicken noodle soup. Cough. Suck on cough drop. Curl up on couch and watch junk TV. Blow nose. Answer phone and assure friend you are alive. Hang up sure you're going to die. Rub Vicks into chest and under nose. Sneeze. Drink glasses of water. Suck on popscicle. Google do-it-yourself tonsilectomy. Gargle. Feel sorry for self. Cough. Dose with Nyquil. Go to bed to read waiting for drugs to make you tired. Pat dog and assure him he is your best ever friend. Sleep.

Narrow

Mom always said to avoid conversations about sex, religion, and politics. How right she was.

My current social minglings are steeped with conservatives who were used to associating with only those of their own ilk. I came along (I socialize with the people because of my significant other. He has the good grace to look at both sides of an issue), and they quickly learned that not everyone agrees with their political or religious points of view. Not really wanting to discuss any of the aforementioned subjects with them, I never bring up such topics. Some of them, however, cannot seem to avoid them and being me, I refuse to let them off the hook without some accountability.

Recently I lived through such an occasion. President Obama has only been in office 16 days and already two of these conservatives have to criticize the economic road he is taking. I can understand concern over the stimulus plans and have my own misgivings. But, what astonished me was the assertion that our economic woes began with Jimmy Carter and that the present state of the economy had nothing to do with the past eight years of President Bush's reign. Huh?

While my mouth was still hanging open at that assertion, the one that rendered me almost speechless (speechlessness does not often happen to me although I'm beginning to think it should) was the claim that Barack Obama is not a moral person. Why, you may ask, do they not consider him a moral person? Because he is pro-choice. These people vote on that issue alone. (As you can imagine Bill Clinton was Satan to them) The answer to any liberal consideration from that moment on was countered with "I only answer to my God." Lots of wars have been fought on that premise, but then, this couple supports the "war on terror", i.e. invasion of Iraq.

At this point I stated that any further discussion on politics, the economy, or other issues was moot since their main concern was alleged morality. What puzzles me is the notion that immoral behavior does not seem to include torture, holding people at Guantanamo without due process, and lying. I did not have the gall to ask if God approved of those.

This morning I had coffee with a friend who happens to be conservative but with whom I question, discuss, and mull current affairs. She concurred that the morality/pro-choice/God stance is very narrow and not one to which she adheres. Guess I needed to hear that. One reason I like discussing such topics with her is I know she goes beyond Rush Limbaugh and Fox News for information.

While I am a liberal, I try to consider both sides which is what I expect of others. Unfortunately, that was not going to happen during that recent surreal discussion. Knee jerk reactions from either side is not healthy and at present it is dangerous. More than ever we need to keep open minds, set aside traditional differences, and try to work together to solve this horrible economic mess. I doubt only considering the morality of pro-life is going to get us the answers.

Gift of Watermelon Pickle

When I was younger my father enjoyed the poem, "Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle Received from a Friend Called Felicity" by John Tobias. The title alone is so atypical of starchy English and early American poets that I found it immediately appealing.

This is not only the title of the poem but also the title of a poetry book in which the poem is contained. The verses included in this book are more modern poems which steer away from the usual themes of war and love and contain poems on less weighty although not necessarily less interesting subjects. "Apartment House" (Gerald Raftery), "The Toaster" (William Jay Smith), "The Garden Hose" (Beatrice Janosco), and "Steam Shovel" (Charles Malam) to name a few. This is one of my favorite poetry books.

Because the weather of this endless winter interfered with my spending Christmas with my extended family, I received Christmas gifts via UPS from my parents yesterday. My father, who often has a unique sense of sentimentality, included a jar of spiced watermelon pickle found at The Vermont Country Store. My dad was wise enough to include a copy of the poem with the preserve (although I immediately located the book). I know why he likes it and upon reading it after so many years of forgetting it, I am very touched by this present. Each child has extra special links with a parent, and I believe one link between my father and me is literature. I have many books that were gifts from him, and he always signed and dated them. While he did not technically gift the "Watermelon Pickle" book to me (I think I 'borrowed' it when I was teaching poetry and didn't return it), his name is stamped on the inside cover. While my father and I might not always understand each other, when reading the poem I felt a connection with him and an understanding that, much like the poem, I had forgotten. Thank you, Dad. I love you much!

Reflections on a Gift of Watermelon Pickle Received from a Friend Called Felicity

During that summer
When unicorns were still possible;
When the purpose of knees
Was to be skinned;
When shiny horse chestnuts
(Hollowed out
fitted with straws
Crammed with tobacco
Stolen from butts
In family ashtrays)
Were puffed in green lizard silence
While straddling thick branches
Far above and away
From the softening effects
Of civilization;

During that summer--
Which may never have been at all;
But which has become more real
That the one that was--
Watermelons ruled.

Thick imperial slices
Melting frigidly on sun-parched tongues
Dribbling from chins;
Leaving the best part,
The black bullet seeds,
To be spit out in rapid fire
Against the wall
Against the wind
Against each other;
And when the ammunition was spent,
There was always another bite;
It was a summer of limitless bites,
Of hungers quickly felt
And quickly forgotten
With the next careless gorging.

The bites are fewer now.
Each one is savored lingeringly,
Swallowed reluctantly.

But in a jar put up by Felicity,
The summer which maybe never was
Has been captured and preserved.
And when we unscrew the lid
And slice off a piece
And let it linger on our tongue:
Unicorns become possible again.

John Tobias