Saturday, October 20, 2007


I wonder what it is like to be in a catatonic state. Do people hear the conversations going on around them but able to distance themselves from reacting? Do they tune out everything so as not to hear or see their surroundings and the people in them?

There are two types of catatonia: the one I’ve described above which is loss of muscle movement and lack of response to external stimuli; the other is catatonic excitement marked by hyperactivity and possibly violence to oneself or others. Wikipeidia reports that a person can die of exhaustion if not treated.

Not that one has a choice but if I had to choose to be catatonic I would choose to be the unresponsive catatonic. Talk about a form of escapism. To mentally remove oneself from a situation and not have to interact with people…..yes, there are always drawbacks but just for awhile it might be refreshing to mentally remove oneself from the scenario at hand. I think I do that when I drift off in a conversation but even then I end up smiling, nodding, or murmuring something to show I am listening even though I am not.

Right now I’m feeling the urge to just sit here and let the world pass me by for at least the next few hours. Sit here and listen to others but not respond and not be expected to respond. Sounds like the ideal escapism for today.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Stress Relief

In our stressed society people turn to talk therapy, drugs (legal or not), alcohol, and food for relief. There are easier methods of dealing with tensions caused by a day fraught by encounters with stupid people. A simpler means of alleviating the steel band headache that is throbbing because you had to remain civil to a boss who makes brings new meaning to the word incompetent. A solution other than homicide when listening, one more time, to your mother criticize your choice of husband/car/hairstyle/gift choice/weight. I have found four inexpensive, simple activities that will release the tension, lesson the stress, relieve the headache, and allow you to set aside the automatic weapon. You may wish to try all of them to find which best suits you or you may find that the methods each work best according to the issue at hand.

1) SCREAM. If the people who reside in your abode or the neighbors in the adjacent apartment are easily scared, this method is best done into a pillow. It works well when alone as long as your apartment complex walls are not paper thin because the police will become quickly impatient with the 911 calls from your neighbors. What you scream depends on you but remember that there is no right or wrong way to scream but doing it at the top of your lungs has the most effect. A simple “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” for a prolonged period is great; “I HATE ________ (insert name)” is a sure bet; the swear word of your choice is a tried and true standby. These are just a few suggestions but whatever you scream, scream it LOUDLY!!!!!

2) HOWL. Howling is a highly underrated form of expression. It is primitive, earthy, and cleansing. People mistakenly believe there must be a full moon for there to be howling. Howling can be particularly rewarding on a dark dark night because you are cloaked in blackness and the howler can be in touch with their anger/pain/tension/frustations and howl until they are released from their angst. For some reason people are initially not as comfortable howling as they are screaming and may feel silly when they first howl. While this may not be the method for you in the long run, it is worth a try. You can start out softly and build to a crescendo or just start off in full, throaty, loud howl. I’ve known some people who begin to laugh at what they perceive to be silliness but that also is a stress reliever!

3) THROWING THINGS. This is a personal favorite. I knew a woman who threw eggs in her kitchen when angry at her family. Even though she was the one to clean up the mess she found it all very refreshing and a great anger release. I must admit to throwing a few things in my life and I would have to agree with her. It is also very dramatic, at least the first few times, if you have an audience. Eggs are an easy and popular choice although quite messy. For people who find cleaning cathartic, this would be perfect.

Throwing plates and glasses is a rewarding option. (Make sure the plates and glasses are actually glass – plastic just isn’t going to do it) An unfinished basement or cement patio works well for this. In Japan there are small businesses set up and people can rent time in a booth with dishes and throw them at a wall. The simple beauty of this almost brings me to tears. The Japanese make an effort to provide their citizens with stress relieving techniques.
If I ever get brave and open a business this would be the one…..dishes from Goodwill, small booths for throwing……sigh……think of the service I would be providing to society. Okay, I digress. Some may see throwing as a violent action but if no one gets hurt by a thrown object and you achieve stress release I would argue there is no harm done.
These are my ideas for simple stress relievers. There are the more tr
aditional methods (beyond therapy, drugs, drinking, eating) in exercising and cleaning but for those of us who have aversions to those, my three ideas allow for some unique activities.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Country Rap

My man done left,
He took the dog,
They rode off on his Harley Hog.
He’s left, he’s gone, and I wanna cry,
I’m so so sad, I’m burnin’ mad,
But deep inside I'm sorta glad.

I loved him long, loved him true,
But he trashed my heart,
He left me blue.

Drinkin’ wine coolers at the bar,
Into the night, to the bitter end.
I trashed him with my bestest friends,
Nasty and mean were his ways,
Sucking beer was how he spent his days.

I loved him long, loved him true
But he trashed my heart
He left me blue.

Now I’m happy he has gone,
Adios to his sorry butt,
So long to his gol’ darn mutt.
I found his rifle, I practiced my shot
And if I ever see his sorry ass,
I’m takin’ aim and givin’ it a blast!

This song should be said/sung with a rapper's attitude. The song is better enhanced if the singer wears low slung jeans, cowboy boots, a wife beater shirt and chains and necklaces crusted in bling. It just seems to me the combination of country and rap a natural new music genre.