Objection Overruled

This piece describes what teachers do. Please understand that teaching is not a job but a lifestyle. Teachers live their jobs and their students are never far from their minds. I will never understand why teachers are not respected and valued. Teachers spend more time with children than their parents, wipe their tears, boost their wilting self esteem, cheer them on, advise them, push them, discipline them, help them make wise choices. We fall asleep worrying about them and wake up knowing we can help them.

Does it matter what teachers make? No teacher went into education for the money but when a football player makes more throwing or catching a ball than a 1st grade teacher who teaches a child to read, priorities are out of whack. Even worse, that football player gets more respect than people who have taught populations to read, analyze, compute, question, calculate and other skills so necessary for a productive, independent life.

In "Objection Overruled" someone disses teachers because they don't make much money. More often teachers are criticized because they make too much money. But the point of the article, to me, details why teachers are, at the very least, worth their paychecks.


Objection Overruled by Taylor Mali

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers: Those who can, do; those who can't teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his and resist the temptation to remind the other dinner guests that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor," he says. "Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that (asked me to be honest) because, you see, I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking; if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face. How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups. No, you may not ask a question. Why won't I let you get a drink of water? Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home; I hope I haven't called at a bad time. I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today. Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?" And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder, I make them question, I make them criticize. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them write, write, write. And then I make them read. I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful over and over and over again until they will never misspell either of those words again. I make them show all their work in math. And hide it on their final drafts in English. I make them understand that if you got this (brains) then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true. I make a goddamn difference. What about you?

Annabelle

Twenty-five years ago today my daughter was born. My life changed that day and I don't mean in the typical ways. I learned to pick my battles; I learned to accept her for who she is, not who I thought she should be; I learned that it is often the little moments and not the big events that a child remembers; I learned when to listen and when to keep my mouth shut--basically because I learned to ask if my role in the conversation is to listen or to advise. And I have learned that an adult child is, oh, so much fun!

We did not always get along. Mothers and daughters don't seem to do well living under the same roof. But, she went to college, matured, and I feel closer to her than I ever have. She has many qualities I wish I possessed. At 25 years old she has a self confidence it took me 40-some years to gain. She embraces her individualism and is pursuing her passion.

My heart hurts with how much I love her. I am, also, immensely proud of the young woman she has become. Happy Birthday, Princess Annabelle. You truly are "my sunshine....you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you."

Pre-Summer Teaser

Sunday morning, sun is shining, 80 degrees, slight breeze, birds chirping, sound of lawn mowers in the neighborhood, children's voices. Feeling content and happy just because of the weather.

Effectiveness

D. is a 6th grade LD student whose mood fluctuates hourly. He can begin the day pleasantly and cheerfully but turn moody and work resistant for no apparent reason. His inability to shut his mouth when in the negative mood does not bode well for those of us attempting to work with him nor does it help him in any manner. He also has a mother who does not care about his work ethic.

By 7th hour on Monday he refused to do any work. I knew that in homeroom we were going to the computer lab to let students play computer games. Trying to "motivate" D., I stated that he would be allowed computer time only if he completed his assignment. No change in behavior.

As any parent knows, when carrying out a disciplinary threat, the adult suffers the consequences of the threat as much as the child. Banish a computer, cell phone, or TV and the parent endures a pouty, bored, snotty child. Teaching is no different. During computer lab time, D. continued to refuse to work, and I continued to strongly encourage him to change his mind. It would have been easier on both of us to just let him go on a computer. Since that didn't happen, neither of us left that lab happy with the other.

After the bell rang, and as drove home, I felt irritated at both D. and myself. Was it really worth the effort to try to get him to work when he clearly wasn't going to do it? Was I more involved in a power struggle rather than academic encouragement? Was it really my job as paraprofessional, rather than as the teacher, to consistently cajole (nag, threaten, bibe, harass) him into working? Or should I have washed my hands of him and let him sit unproductively? I concluded that the next day I would wash my hands of him and let him be.

Tuesday, 1st hour, D. cheerfully greets me and announces he is going to be better and willing to work. This will make it an easier day for both of us, so I am happy with this declaration. What I would love to know is whether D. woke up that morning and randomly decided to be positive or if my hassling him the previous day made an impact.

This is one of the basic educational unknowns....what actions taken by the teacher/parapro positively impact students. If I had ignored his unmotivated behavior would he have come to school Tuesday in that good mood or would he have continued bucking school work? I wish I knew......

(One old adage President Bush and Senator Kennedy forgot when promoting the "No Child Left Behind" bill is "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." We can provide educational experiences for children, but they must want an education and their parents must want it for them. Circumstances are vastly different for school children today than when we baby boomers were in school. Anyone not familiar with school children today may not understand the difficulty in educating students for no other reason than parental support is not behind the schools.)

Mother's Funny Bone

A lighter side of Mother's Day:

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." Phyllis Diller

"A suburban mother's role is to children obstretrically once, and by car forever after." Peter De Vries

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only 4 pieces of pie for 5 people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." Tenneva Jordan

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life." Author unknown

"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." Author unknown

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." Chinese proverb

While humorous, there is also truth to these quips. But as every mother knows, survival in the toughest job in the world depends on a fabulous sense of humor! Here's to all the mother's in the world who laugh at themselves and parenting.

Women with Power Tools

Except for the "cracks in the glass ceiling" attention when Hillary was running for President, women's rights is an issue rarely addressed any longer. Young women today do not carry the torch of feminism prevalent in the 60's and 70's, possibly because they grew up knowing more equal treatment. Women enjoy greater respect and broader employment opportunities today due to the strides made by Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem.

At my elementary school boys and girls had separate playgrounds. During high school, 1968 - 1972, we did not have Title IX, had to wear dresses to school until my sophomore year, my mother told me to let boys win at games, and we did not have co-ed gym classes. When I graduated from high school in 1972, females became nurses, teachers, or secretaries. Approximately 10 females out of my graduating class of 224 went to college.

Flash forward to 2010. Appearing at my door to clean up my flooded basement were three women. Three women who wielded power tools and hauled heavy industrial fans and dehumidifiers. After all these years I still rarely see women in such roles so was gratified and impressed to meet these three.

They explained to me that the restoration business is huge and there are many job opportunities. The young man who was coordinating the clean up efforts told me he preferred working with the women rather than the men. He explained that men often become cocky once they got used to the job, but the women always want to learn more. However, there is still progress to be made in some attitudes. The women told me about driving an hour to a job only to be told by the male homeowner to turn around because "no woman could do this job."

These women and all those people (males, too) in non-traditional gender roles give me hope. This is still a sensitive issue to me because I have too often been patted on the head, patronized, had my suggestions ignored only to have a male's same idea accepted. I have heard men say, "Women are taking men's jobs" or question a females sexual orientation because they choose a traditionally male profession. So, it is gratifiying to know that women are still pushing the boundaries and not letting gender limit their job opportunities.

Thank you Maria, Heather, and Carla for being the Paul Davis Restoration employees to show up at my door. Besides being extremely efficient, enlightening, and fun, you are role models for others.

Aging

"The years had nibbled away the clear-cut contours and it was a high-risk strategy to get straight out of bed and count on looking fine. No, more than that: it was impossible."

Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman by Elizabeth Buchan

Fortunately, as we age we no longer care as much about looking fine right out of bed!