Humorous Thanksgiving

"I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be overeating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all."
Ellen Orleans

"I love Thanksgiving turkey....it's the only time in Los Angeles that you get to see natural breasts."
Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
Jon Stewart

"You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise old Native American woman saying, "Don't fee them. If you feed them, they'll never leave."
Dylan Brody