Monday, November 16, 2009

How Many Know?

My high school chemistry teacher was a brilliant man who should have taught college students. Eldred Judd was a sincere, kind, hard working teacher whose talents were sorely wasted on me. He had a speech pattern that was also wasted on us -- questions asked were prefaced, "How many know ------" So, dear readers, today's entry will be a tribute to Mr. Judd's questioning style:

How many know that
"Nothing matters but the weekend,
From a Tuesday point of view...." (The Kings)

How many know that talking about farting is almost as unappealing as the actual occurrence (that one's for you Ms. Ex).

How many know what a vacuole is? You may not, but this week 6th graders will be expected to know this on a test which leads to How many know how many times they've ever in their lives needed to know what a vacuole is?

How many know the national capital of Canada?

How many know that announcements 15 minutes after the start of class disrupts 6th graders for about 4 minutes? How many know that what is being announced is probably not worth the disruption?

How many know that the Mac computers in the library are a pain in the butt to use? Sorry, Ann, but NO ONE likes them.

How many know that "Dude" is a unisex proper noun? It's that or these children are seriously lacking in health ed. I've been called "Dude" numerous time of late. (How many know that adding "Ms." would make it more appropriate when addressing a teacher?)

How many know that I'm going to avoid the lounge at lunch time to avoid listening to a certain some one's self inflicted tale of woe?

How many know that shock collars around the necks of certain children would implement instantaneous behavior modification and allow for the sanity of educators and enhance the learning environment of the majority of other students? How many know that some will profess this notion to be distasteful because they are soooooo tempted by it?

3 comments:

Vicky said...

Keep going, Holly! I think you're on a roll but many of the things I'm tempted to add are probably not meant for the general public.

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