Mother's Day

Until I was 29 years old I swore I did not want children. Did not, did not, did not. Then one Sunday afternoon in late summer (yes, I remember the day) I realized I might be missing something.....something that I would later regret not experiencing. Nine months later my daughter was born and indeed, my life changed. For the better. Three years later my son made his appearance and my life became richer again.

I have had my struggles as a mother. To this day I wonder: did I yell too much, did I not pay enough attention, will my mistakes come back to haunt them? From talking to other moms I know these are common worries. And even though my children are legal adults, I try to balance my mothering so they know I am there for them, love them ,yet give them their space. I believe the three of us have charmed relationships. We usually talk at least once per week, I have learned how to listen, when to give advice, when to bite my tongue, and always tell them I love them. They confide secrets in me that sometimes I might not want to hear but am awed they trust me that much.

There was an all too rapid passage of time and in a blink of an eye my daughter and son became adults. Each age brought its joys and frustrations but my children were relatively easy to raise and are now admirable adults. There are moments I wish they were once again little and still held my hand when crossing a road, want stories read in bed at night, and think a kiss will make it all better. But, they are now admirable 20-somethings who are everything to me. They may not need me in the same way they once did, they do still need me.

I get to celebrate Mother's Day because I have two fantastic children who make me a better person than I could hope to be otherwise. I have shed tears about them, I laugh with them, I treasure each minute spent with them. I love them more than I ever thought it was possible to love.

To think I could have missed having my children makes me shudder. I'd like to think that the hand of Providence guided me into realizing I needed these two in my life; I'm glad I paid attention!