Little Ditties

I just remembered a few silly ditties (how often does one get to use a word like “ditties?) from my childhood. It is amazing what stays lurking in your memory.

A brown calf
Walked a mile and a half
To take a bath.

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one.
But if I saw one anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

Be kind to your web footed friends,
For a duck may be somebody’s brother.
Be kind to your friends in the swamp,
Because it’s very very damp.


Then the duck ditty led me to remember this joke:

“Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires.
Why to elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks

These memories are more pleasurable than the ones I have of math class or some other drudgery. So why is it people look at me slightly askance (another great work, “askance”) when I recite such ditties? For example, at the soccer game last night I was telling pirate jokes in honor of last week’s National Talk like a Pirate Day (which I totally missed). Julie Ziegler looked at me like I was nuts until I explained that at 53 I should damn well be able to say or sing whatever I want whenever I want. (I also told her about the Skittles Rabbit song. If you don’t know what that is just “Google” Skittles Rabbit commercial) Here are a few pirate jokes:

“What is a pirate’s favorite country? Arrrrrrrrgentina”
“What is a pirate’s favorite kind of sock? Arrrrrrgyle”
“What does a pirate pay for corn on the cob? A buccaneer.”

I like these pirate poems….they may be simplistic and silly but there isn’t enough simple and silly in the world. So rather than worrying about global warming, gas prices, the Iraqi conflict, and my cholesterol level, silly ditties and pirate jokes are a fine diversion.