12 Days of Christmas (Tech Toy Version)

On the first day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
A cell phone ringing.

On the second day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the third day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the fourth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the fifth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the sixth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the seventh day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Seven Garmins directing,
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell Computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the eighth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Eight Tivos taping,
Seven Garmins directing,
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the ninth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Nine Elmos talking,
Eight Tivo's taping,
Seven Garmins directing,
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the tenth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Ten surround sound systems,
Nine Elmos talking,
Eight Tivo's taping,
Seven Garmins directing,
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Eleven DS games,
Ten surround sound systems,
Nine Elmos talking,
Eight Tivos taping,
Seven Garmins directing,
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

On the twelvth day of Christmas my good friend gave to me
Twelve Blue-ray players,
Eleven DS games,
Ten surround sound systems,
Nine Elmos talking,
Eight Tivos taping,
Seven Garmins directing,
Six camcorders recording,
Five Ipods playing,
Four Wii consoles,
Three Dell computers,
Two HD TV's and
A cell phone ringing.

Good Samaritans

It is heartwarming when people can help others, but the good Samaritan role takes on a brighter glow during the holidays. On Friday I watched one stranger do several acts of goodwill to another, and I'm still enjoying the happiness.

I rang bell for the Salvation Army from 2:00 - 4:00 Friday at a Walgreens. The temperature outside was in the teens and the wind was blowing fiercely, but business was brisk. (I was fortunate to be ringing between the doors of the store so was able to stay warm) Around 3:00 an old, rusty truck with a handicap license plate parked in the handicapped parking space, and its owner limped into the store. The driver had long gray hair, glasses, a long gray beard (I will call him ZZ since it was a ZZ Top beard), a dirty, worn insulated denim jacket, dark jeans, scuffed boots, a brace around his right knee and he brandished a cane.

In short order he made his purchase, returned to the truck, and after repeated attempts, failed to start the engine. ZZ lifted the hood and tinkered with whatever one tinkers under truck hoods but could not start the vehicle. In time he was approached by a customer offering help. This person, who shall be known as GS (good Samaritan), dressed in slacks, leather shoes, nice ski jacket, gloves, but no hat, spent the next 15 minutes helping with the tinkering. Eventually ZZ came into the store looking for starting fluid. He came out purchaseless and rejoined GS. After a few more fruitless minutes they drove off in GS's van eventually returning with HEET and some spray for the carburetor.

Things got exciting when the carburetor spray started on fire and flames were coming from under the hood. Running into the store I tried to find a clerk and fire extinguisher but to no avail. As I was poised to call 911 the two men put out the fire with their gloves and some metal disk thingy from under the hood. For the next 30 minutes they continued to work on the truck, a fire started once again, was put out, but the engine never kicked in.

My bell ringing shift ended, and on the way to my car I stopped to ask if either wanted coffee but no one did. ZZ was on a blanket looking underneath the truck and GS stood by. The Samaratin informed me that ZZ is from Iron River, just got out of an Appleton hospital, and did have friends with whom he could stay until the truck was fixed. GS was going to give him a ride to that friend's house.

Seeing a stranger so dedicated to helping this obviously disabled man with this old old truck is what allows me to continue to believe in the goodness of people. GS seemed genuinely surprised when I thanked him for his kindheartedness, but I had seen many people walk by the truck and ZZ without a word. And I had watched as this hatless man stayed with ZZ for an hour in the freezing cold. It is easy to ring a bell for two hours, and it is easy to drop money into the red bucket. True charity is stopping to help on a cold cold winter day and giving time, patience, and assistance for a needy person.

I experienced the giving vicariously but it touched me. GS gave a gift to ZZ, to me, and to himself. I hope ZZ has many good Samaritans in his life, and that a stranger's kindness made his Christmas merrier. GS impacted my holiday, and I wish him as much joy as he gave me.

Snow Globe Living

I love Christmas. The decorated trees, garland, Santa decorations, shopping for gifts, outdoor lights, the spirit of the holiday. However, there are people in my life who do not share this Christmas joy. This year, rather than being beaten down by their bahumbug-edness, I have announced that I am living in my snow globe world, ignoring all Christmas nay sayers, Grinches, Scrooges.

Holiday music plays in the background of my snow globe; "It's a Holly Jolly Christmas" is number one on the list with "Welcome Christmas" (the fah who for-aze song) a close second. The snow sparkles, I'm warm and cozy with an inner glow and the only shaking of my globe is when I'm jumping for joy. If a Humbug comes into my space I just turn up the music and loudly sing along. I have an example from just this morning. I went to Shopko, which has two entrances, and Salvation Army bell ringers were at both entrances. I donated to the volunteer, did my shopping and at the opposite entrance the bell ringers were singing. Hmmmmmm. I made my purchases, exited the store, and encountered the same non-singing bell ringer to whom I first donated. I was almost out the door when I had a thought which I shared with him, "The other bell ringers are singing." He replied, thinking he had an excuse, "I know. I can't carry a tune."

Always wanting to expand my globe I told him I would put $5.00 in the bucket if he sang a Christmas song. As often happens with unsure Christmas celebrators, he hesitated with an uncertain look on his face. To help him out I started, "We wish you a Merry Christmas" and we sang two verses together. Since I believe my singing voice was worse than his, I hoped he felt more comfortable. When we finished the song I place my money in the bucket, clasped him on the arm and said, "See, there you go! Merry Christmas!"

I'm not sure he was totally enveloped in my holiday snow globe, but we gave it a good try. You never know what seeds of joy, Christmas, and happiness you plant. While I try to keep my globe intact, I don't mind letting others in to enjoy the warmth and Christmas spirit!

December Bliss

It is snowing, windy, gray outside, but I am yellow sunshine inside. This December I am singing "It's a holly, jolly Christmas" aloud, loving holiday decorations inside and out, and feeling a Christmas spirit I haven't felt in many years. I'm not wanting to analyze why at this time because I want it just to flow.


I smile at strangers and am saddened by their unspirited response, their consumption in their burdens, their untapped joy. But, by giving them a smile maybe I can plant a seed of holiday cheer. I have always loved Charles Dickens' "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." (A Christmas Carol) What better time to begin than in the month of Christmas!

Christmas Magic

As a child Christmas held the magic of Santa Claus and the gifts he brought. There was the excitement of knowing he slipped into the house while I was sleeping, depositing toys, toys, toys under the tree and into the stockings. There was eager early morning whispering between my brothers and me while waiting for our parents to arise.

As an adult Christmas has lost a lot of its magic. I enjoy shopping and believe I have the ability to choose gifts others will enjoy. But there is a frantic atmosphere that pervades the holidays now. We all know Christmas is ALWAYS on December 25, and the retail industry has tried to “help” shoppers have enough time to achieve their obligatory gift giving by beginning the Christmas shopping set up and advertising in October. Still, its seems people continue to rush about in December and complain about how much they have left to do prior to family get togethers.

This year was not a rushed December for me. While I will admit to a marathon of cleaning my house, baking, and present wrapping on the Eve of Christmas Eve, this holiday was enjoyable and some of the magic was back. I am fortunate to be related to or know people who picked out unique gifts for me. They obviously put thought into gifts that were appropriate for my quirkiness, and these people and gifts brought the magic back into my Christmas.

Ann had been delayed in River Falls the day before Christmas Eve due to bad weather. When she made it to my house for Christmas Eve she brought with her a new holiday mascot….The Traditional Trout. A papier-mâché painted trout with a holly adornment is proudly displayed on my Christmas tree and will be displayed in such a manner for Christmases to come. Now, people outside the family may not appreciate the Traditional Trout but for our family it is perfect…..something unique and out of the ordinary!

Patrick gave me a hookah. While in Milwaukee visiting him, we walked past a head shop with beautiful hookahs on display in the window. I was quite taken with these and commented that I would like one because they are unique and pretty. This conversation happened a few other times and on Christmas Eve I received my hookah. I am pretty sure I am the only mother in New London to have received this gift. It is beautiful and will be proudly displayed in my home. And it is what I wanted!

My brother Brian apparently has read my blog and decided to find an item mentioned in one of the entries. I had written a blog in which I mentioned perfumes I had worn in high school but imagine my surprise and wonderment when I opened a box to find Heaven Scent perfume and body lotion!! I wore Heaven Scent all through high school --- I copied LuAnn Summers, the most popular girl in our school. It doesn’t smell too bad considering how one’s taste in scents changes over 36 years. I don’t know where he found it and never imagined it was still manufactured but maybe girls are still wearing it hoping to be popular!

I often talk about wanting to have a rabbit as a pet. I love looking at them at Petco and this summer we looked at them at the Calumet County Fair. Steven and I particularly liked a brown fuzzy rabbit named Rosemary. I also enjoy the Skittles Rabbit commercial and often tell others about it. Most people don’t appreciate the commercial but Ann, Steven, and I are kindred spirits in our enjoyment of the ad. Steven is a thoughtful gift giver and this Christmas he once again matched my present perfectly with my interests. Upon unwrapping his gift I found two soft, cuddly, stuffed bunnies! I immediately named the dark brown one Rosemary and after some thought am calling the tan bunny Iggy. I laughed so hard while also being tickled by the gift.

These people and their gifts made my Christmas magical. They put thought and effort into choosing my gifts, and I am touched by that thoughtfulness. At my age I truly don’t “need” anything material. What I have realized is that they had me laughing and enjoying the holiday and that is all I really “need” anymore!

Christmas Letter

I’m only writing this damn Christmas letter because I figure I will be too busy fulfilling my community service obligation once the New Year begins. Nah, I didn’t kill anyone or anything exciting like that. Just got fed up with the nosy neighbor and practiced shooting her world’s ugliest donkey lawn decoration with my new bb gun. I accidentally hit her dumbass husband, and she actually got upset and called the police. But there is a silver lining behind every black cloud and after writing to Naomi Campbell for advice on how to handle community service, she became my new BFF and has given me a free membership to her women’s fight club.

The kids are doing fine. Ann has managed not to get pregnant and has stayed off crack. TGI-Fridays awarded her their elite Door Greeter of the Year award which reinforced her decision to make door greeting her career. For those of you who don’t believe she is using her artistic talents, let me tell you that she does face painting at Fridays on Mondays and is a big hit with the 3 – 5 year old set.

Patrick managed to make it across the stage to receive his high school diploma and is going to school in Milwaukee. He does excel at Beer Pong and may make the 2008 Olympic Beer Pong team. Because of his beer pong/ping pong abilities, he has received the Forrest Gump Golden Paddle Award and may major in paddle sports with a minor in brewing.

Besides the minor mishap mentioned above, life is going well. With the recent increase in national debt, foreclosures, and unemployment I am fitting in with the US norm perfectly. Yes, I am up to my ears in debt but the President thinks debt is good for the country! Those of us whose homes are in foreclosure have formed a new social group and happily watch soap operas all day to forget our troubles. I beat the unemployment problem by working from home stuffing envelopes. Since I filed for workman’s comp due to a severe paper cut, I won’t have to worry about having a good holiday.

I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a Happy Holiday. If your children are perfect, your jobs rewarding, and your home secure, save your postage and don’t send me a letter. I know most of you are damn liars anyway!