Playing it Safe

I've never been a risk taker. I fear failure and don't always adapt well to change. As a child I never felt I quite measured up to people's expectations. It has taken 40+ years to get past worrying about what others think, but I still am not much of a risk taker. There are times when I so vey much want to spin a pencil on a map of the US, point the car in the direction indicated and drive. No plans, just drive. That in itself is a pretty safe venture but would still be fleeing some obligations and responsibilities for a time. Go as far as I want for as long as I want doing whatever I want on the way. I love reading stories of women who have done just that.

I want to escape. I want to take a risk at something. I think that is why the thought of teaching in Mississippi keeps coming back to me. Why don't I just get in the car and drive to Mississippi and see what it has to offer. What is to lose in doing that? Why am I so bogged down in what I know? I tell people about the Mississippi idea in a joking manner because I don't want to hear their objections. Some people I don't tell at all because I don't want to hear their opinions on why this would be a bad idea.

So much of my life has been lived inside my head because it is easier to live just with me than explaining and listening to others. A counselor once told me I am my own best friend because I've had to be. At the time I didn't consider that a positive but now I'm not so sure.

I envy people who can take a different route and pay no attention to the advice of others. If it doesn't work out they have gained experiences. At 53 years old I have been playing it safe my entire life. Am I going to die without having done anything exciting? Without taking any risks?

Driving Hazards

While in Appleton this morning I saw the results of one car accident and listened to the radio report of 2 others. The two were on Highway 41 south by Neenah to Oshkosh. The other was on Northland and Lynndale which is a well regulated intersection. I was caught in the traffic backup of this last accident and at first wondered how the heck someone could get into an accident here. Upon further reflection I realized that we aren't always "in the moment" when driving. How many times have drivers had near misses and avoided an accident by the grace of the driving gods. How many times have we driven to a destination and, upon reflection, cannot remember the drive because our mind was on other things.

The accident on Northland and Lynndale was a van that had flipped. Probably easier to do thanI want to realize.

Imagine driving along on a sunny, pleasant 70 degree spring day and suddenly have your entire world changed in a split second --- changed either due to your own neglegence or someone else's. We are all too distracted these days and distracted behind the wheel of a car is not good. An obvious statement but how often are any of us putting ourselves and others in danger because of this distractedness?

No Ideas

I'm having a writing block. Or maybe its an enthusiasm block. I think of things to write when I'm not near paper or computer. Not earth shattering ideas but still ideas. They disappear when I want to write.

So let me be cliche. I am cast adrift on the sea of nothingness. I am blank, devoid of creativity. My pen (keyboard) is forlorn from uselessness. I mourn my muse.

You get the drift.

Offer

My house went up for sale on Monday (sign goes in the yard tomorrow and so far nothing online)and today I made an offer to purchase on a house in Appleton. Contingent on the sale of my house, of course. This is all a bit overwhelming. I've lived in NL for 27 post college years and while I am ready not to live there, it is a change. How often will I see the kids when they come home, will I stay in touch with the friends I care about in NL, will I like this house as much as I love the own I now own.

My mind keeps racing ahead, thinking about the house as though I am on the verge of moving. Landscaping, paint, furniture, storage......the space where the playset sits could be turned into a garden.

Much like the shopping god, the house god will decide if I get this house and if mine sells. Well, St. Joseph will hopefully have a hand in my house selling.

Pie

Pie
Pie
Me oh myNothing tastes sweet, wet, salty and dry
all at once o well it's pie
Apple!
Pumpkin!
Minced
an' wet bottom.
Come to your place everyday if you've got em
Pie
Me o my
I love pie

These are the lyrics from "The Pie Song" in the movie "Michael" starring John Travolta, William Hurt, and Andie MacDowell.

Pie is one of the perfect foods. So many kinds of pie but it seems an underrated food. Cake gets more press -- birthday, wedding, cup. Pie receives attention at Thanksgiving when pumpkin and mincemeat become important. Apple pie is linked with America; "American as apple pie." Pecan pie is Southern as is peach pie. I guess all the rest are up for grabs.


I like all fruit pies and while some people are picky about crusts, I don't place a lot of attention on the pastry part of a pie. It is important to have a crust but, for me, it doesn't make or break the pie. Cream pies are dicey. While banana cream pie and coconut cream pie are yummy, I want no part of chocolate cream pie or French silk pie. Pecan pie is too sweet. Key lime pie is a favorite while lemon meringue is just okay.


Cheesecake is cut like a pie but is called a cake. It has a crust of sorts but is called cake. While cheesecake is very good, I'll take a fruit pie over a cheesecake.


We were at Betty's Pies in Two Harbors, Minnesota, last summer. The restaurant had a full menu and then about 50 pie varities. The place was packed and the pies are famous. I can't imagine being near Two Harbors again without stopping in at Betty's Pies.


Norske Nook in Osseo, Wisconsin, is known for its pies. I had sour cream and raisin pie there, and while a seemingly an odd combination, it was a delicious pie. I think they may still use lard in the crust.


Baker's Square has good pies although not as good as Norske Nook or Betty's Pies. My favorite at Baker's Square is their strawberry pie. Mmmmmm. Hard to go wrong with strawberries anyway but this pie is extra good.


It would be great fun to go into a restaurant and order a slice of each pie just as was done in "Michael." Whipped cream and vanilla ice cream would be available sides. Now that's my idea of a party.

Miss America

I have never had a desire to be Miss America. However, I do enjoy the typical "I want world peace" response given to the question and answer session. If the pageant participant's father works in or owns a munitions plant would she really want world peace?


I would like to hear one of those beauty contestants say "I want a red BMW convertible." "I want to get out of these friggin' high heels." "I want to sleep with Johnny Depp." "I want a huge steak, baked potato piled high with sour cream, and a ginormous banana split since I've been starving myself for this pageant."

Ignorance is Bliss

Simple Mind
"My grandmother used to say life was so much easier when you were simple minded. It's taken me almost my whole life to understand what she meant." Brian Andreas

This quote reaches back to the "Ignorance is bliss" philosophy. And I'm beginning to think there is truth in this maxim. It goes with the "What you don't know won't hurt you." What I don't know I can't care about. What I don't understand I won't pay attention to. Suppose this all relates to my underachieving tendency but I've been thinking that dumbing down might not be a bad idea.