Humorous Thanksgiving

"I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be overeating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all."
Ellen Orleans

"I love Thanksgiving turkey....it's the only time in Los Angeles that you get to see natural breasts."
Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
Jon Stewart

"You know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise old Native American woman saying, "Don't fee them. If you feed them, they'll never leave."
Dylan Brody

Middle of the Week Day

Moments from my Middle of the Week Day:

The most enjoyable part of the school day today was 5th hour social studies. The class is studying Canada and spent part of the hour filling in and coloring a political map (a map that shows lines defining countries, states, or territories). I worked with a group of 3 students ,and I did a map along with them. Drawing in the provinces (how many know what a province is?) was a bit challenging (we were given an outline of Canada) and figuring out where to put the Saskatchewan River tricky but then it was time to COLOR! Jacy didn't want to color, but I insisted because I love it so much, and, well, that was part of the assignment. (Jacy's been in a mood the last few days) I have always loved coloring and find it relaxing. To be able to color while also answering questions and joking with the kids was a perfect combination. (It helped that my most reluctant learner was absent)

Math is covering graphs and coordinate planes. The class had no problem with graphing but coordinate planes are challenging them. Or maybe it is having to use positive AND negative quadrants (anyone who knows my math skills is probably amazed that I know what a quadrant is!). Homework is an assignment using integers to draw a picture. I can't wait to see what the pictures are but explaining how to use the 50 sets of integers was challenging. I tried to remember what was stated in the short video the class watched prior to the coordinate plane explanation: "Integers are our friends." Well, I hadn't known that, but my day was just brighter knowing I have all these integer friends.

Homeroom (known as Connections) is the last 35 minutes of the day. Our 17 Connection kids are DONE by this time. Their attention spans are non-existent, hyperactivity (diagnosed or otherwise) has kicked in, and we try to corral and focus them --- not always with success. As frustrating as this can be, by the end Jeramie and I are laughing if for no other reason than relief that the day is done. Today was trying to get 7 of them study for tomorrow's science test (4 of them did listen--finally) then 3 worked on math homework -- back to the quadrant quandaries (come on, how often do you find an opportunity to use "q" in consonance?). Jeramie will be in Madison Thursday and Friday for state football finals (I mouthed "I hate you" to him from the doorway as I left) so the sub and I are hoping to survive the last two connections of the week.

Don't get me wrong...the majority of the students are nice kids and I enjoy them. But the disrespectful, cocky, jerk students take away from the class, disrupt learning, and suck adults' energy. In science there are 24 students and 7 of them are disruptive. I try to have contact with the good kids as often as possible just to keep my sanity and perspective. I also try to remember that the jerk kids just may grow out of this phase and become product adults.

How Many Know?

My high school chemistry teacher was a brilliant man who should have taught college students. Eldred Judd was a sincere, kind, hard working teacher whose talents were sorely wasted on me. He had a speech pattern that was also wasted on us -- questions asked were prefaced, "How many know ------" So, dear readers, today's entry will be a tribute to Mr. Judd's questioning style:

How many know that
"Nothing matters but the weekend,
From a Tuesday point of view...." (The Kings)

How many know that talking about farting is almost as unappealing as the actual occurrence (that one's for you Ms. Ex).

How many know what a vacuole is? You may not, but this week 6th graders will be expected to know this on a test which leads to How many know how many times they've ever in their lives needed to know what a vacuole is?

How many know the national capital of Canada?

How many know that announcements 15 minutes after the start of class disrupts 6th graders for about 4 minutes? How many know that what is being announced is probably not worth the disruption?

How many know that the Mac computers in the library are a pain in the butt to use? Sorry, Ann, but NO ONE likes them.

How many know that "Dude" is a unisex proper noun? It's that or these children are seriously lacking in health ed. I've been called "Dude" numerous time of late. (How many know that adding "Ms." would make it more appropriate when addressing a teacher?)

How many know that I'm going to avoid the lounge at lunch time to avoid listening to a certain some one's self inflicted tale of woe?

How many know that shock collars around the necks of certain children would implement instantaneous behavior modification and allow for the sanity of educators and enhance the learning environment of the majority of other students? How many know that some will profess this notion to be distasteful because they are soooooo tempted by it?

Life Skills

Children with learning disabilities function at many different levels in math and/or reading. During 3rd hour I take three lower functioning students to another room and work with them on basic reading skills. Two of these students (Dave and Hailey) have positive personalities and are hard workers; the third has low self esteem and "shuts down" at the snap of a finger when feeling the least bit challenged. This third child is a boy previously referenced in an earlier blog entry -- Vince.

Typically we work on sight words (for example, "I, am, were, because..."), vowel sounds (short a, short o.....), and blends ("bl", "ch", "sw".....). All three struggle with certain words, and I'm not sure why. "Were" is THE word they cannot remember. Every day we review it and the next day they cannot remember it. "Another" and "write" also prove difficult.

Vince and Hailey are mainstreamed in science and social studies where they learn about geography, countries, cells, periodic table and such, but neither Jeramie nor I think they understand what they are to learn. We believe they can benefit from learning life skills, so besides teaching basic phonics, I am teaching some life skills. Another teacher provided us with resource materials, and yesterday we did our first activity. I gave Vince and Dave (Hailey was at chorus) a note card and asked them to write their names, addresses, and phone numbers on it. Neither knew their addresses. Dave did not know his entire phone number. (Checking with Hailey later in the day revealed she knew all the info)

Okay, this was discouraging. The next hour Jeramie looked up the info for me, I wrote it on note cards, and today I had them fill out an pretend contest entry form. The instructions said $100,000,000 was the grand prize........Vince wanted to know if this was for real. Alas, no, but should he ever wish to enter a contest maybe he will have a better chance since he now knows how to fill out a form. Since they had the address info. in front of them the addresses were no problem, but Vince did not know how to spell his father's first name, and Dave wrote Mom and Dad in the blanks for "mother's name" and "father's name." I clarified what was needed --- he then asked me to spell their names.

Not sure how they got this far in life without knowing this info. but we're remedying the lapses. Next week we're going to spend some time on this and reading simple maps. The low skill levels of these children can be disheartening, but we are hoping that learning some basic life skills will ease their way into a highly competitive world.

12 Year Old Energy Level

Whew! Happy it is Friday! The 6th graders have been wound up all week and took it up a notch today. Wound up means getting out of their seats at random to walk around the room, periodically breaking a pencil so there is an excuse to sharpen it, speaking to a friend while the teacher is talking, focusing all attention of a pencil/ruler/folded paper in front of them rather than paying attention to a lesson. If it were only a student or two in a class here and there I'd say "oh, well." That is not the case. I provide student support in 6 classes and each class has at least 3 students per class who exhibit the above behavior on a daily basis. Most of these are boys and they are not impressed/intimidated/cowed by any adult reprimands, cajoling, threats. The only time they settle is when an educational video is playing.

For some reason I was not at wits end today. Maybe I'm getting used to the behavior and weathering it rather than becoming irritated by it. I've also learned where to focus my attention during a class --- and thank my lucky stars I'm not the teacher! I've also developed relationships with our small group of mainstreamed LD students and enjoy working with them. They keep me sane. Most are nice kids who work hard and want to succeed. Those who don't are so low level we often discuss, worriedly, their adulthood fate.

So, even though the students provided some challenges today, I am in a good mood, not tired and looking forward to the weekend. Oh, and its payday!

Eloquence

An eloquent President accords dignity and respectfulness to a solemn situation. President Obama's speech at Fort Hood today is reminiscent of past greats whose speeches historically endure.

Monday Evening

I'm sitting in my big comfy chair in the living room, junk TV on the screen (Two and a Half Men, to be exact), a mask stiffening on my face. (I just KNOW this time I will wash it off and look 10 years younger -- yup, I can feel it in my bones.) The dog is freshly groomed (he was a very good boy according to the groomer) and smelling better than he has in weeks.

This weekend laundry was done, dishwasher emptied, Halloween decorations taken down (these accomplished while Dan was yelling at the Packers on TV), dog walked, groceries gotten. Garage was finally cleaned out, hoses put away, and bushes trimmed (huge hugs and thanks to Dan for helping with these things).

I love the mundane of my life. While the health care issues, the wretched economy, and the Middle Eastern wars loom large, I am happily ensconced in my snow globe world for the moment. So, for tonight I am not going to ponder the serious topics nor vent on annoyances. This is an evening to relish the cozy simplicities.